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The Perfect Cake

There a various factors that go into creating the perfect cake. First you have to make sure that you have the best ingredients. Everything should be top of the range. No expenses spared. And if you’re planning on making a wedding cake then you best get ready to go bankrupt. If you think that this is too much to ask, then that just says a lot about the quality of your cakes. No offense. Anyway, once you’ve purchased the most expensive ingredients on planet earth, I’m going to need you to go right ahead and put them all into a mixer.

Mixers are like the Cooking Gods gift to use mere mortals who don’t know how to make anything. If you’re not sure where to start on your cooking journey, then you need to buy a mixer. It basically just throws everything you have into one mixture without you actually having to use your arms. So, it’s a win if you ask me. There’s nothing worse than actually having to use your arms to make a cake. Or make anything really. I have the worlds strongest arms but I’m not going to use that extra effort and muscle on mixing some mixture when there’s a machine that can do it for me. Actually, one time I broke a wooden spoon mixing a cake batter so, there’s that.

Back to the recipe. You’re then going to need to find the perfect sized tin to pour the batter into. I like to go with a silicone base so that I don’t have to deal with scraping out the remnants and it just kind of falls out nicely onto your tray or table or whatever you’re serving your cake on. Once you’ve poured the batter in you need to make sure to lick the mixture bow l clean. It’s the only way that the cake will come out tasting good. If you miss this licking step, you may as well forget making the cake altogether because you’ve already ruined it. When the bowl is licked clean – and I mean shiny, you’re ready to move onto the next step which is the baking. Put your fancy cake in the oven, grab a chair and place yourself in front of the oven. Now this is crucial: you must keep your eyes on the cake at all times. didn’t your mother ever tell you to keep your eye on the prize? If you move your eyes from the cake, then there’s no telling what will happen and if you’re willing to live with that then okay. I’m not here to judge.

Due to the fact that you have watched the cake in the oven for the past hour you should be able to see the perfect moment to take it out. Miss that moment and you may as well throw away your cake. It’s a tiny window called the golden second and when its missed, you’re done for. Anyway, once you’ve taken the perfect cake out feel free to decorate it however you want.

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